Wanted: My Missing Six Pages

Once upon a time, my book was six pages longer than it is right now. This is a tale that will strike terror into the heart of any writer: The Tale of the Disappearing Pages.

After being distracted by my next Iggie Barrera novel, I had finally started getting into The White Man again. I was really into the groove so after four hours of fevered writing last night, I had six pages to show for it. They were great and I was giddy and smug. It was satisfying. If I smoked, I would have probably had a cigarette.

Odd things had been happening as I was writing and saving each change. Word was saving my document as “w1339” or something like that which was weird but I figured I’d just Save As “White Man” later. Just change the file name like I’ve done before. So I x’d out after I finished.

Then I wanted to read what I wrote one more time only to be faced with every writer’s nightmare. What I had been writing for the last 4 hours wasn’t there.┬áLike it never happened. In fact, there was a file named “The White Man” but it was from the day before. Where was “w1339”? Then I realized I had been kicked out of my official Word account as it wanted me to sign in. I had never had to sign in before. I was always in. Can you tell I’m still reeling?

I went through all of the stages of grief:



“Oh my God. That’s not the doc with my changes. I should have over 150 pages. That’s my book from yesterday. What the…? Did…did it not save? Are you kidding. No. No.”

Cue two hours of me rooting around in Documents, looking at them 50 times like something will change each of those 50 times.



*mumbling* “Fucking Microsoft Word. Serves me right trusting technology this much. I fucking hate Microsoft so much right now. Why the hell would they kick me out of my fucking document as I’m writing it? I can’t trust anyone anymore.”



“I’m not religious but if someone is up there…I’m nice to people. I live an honest life. Throw me a bone, will you?”

“Come on HP laptop. Please, please let the file be in C file. No? Okay. Please, please let it be in Word > Info > Unsaved Documents. How could it not be there? It’s not in documents so it obviously didn’t save!”

“Please, please let there be help in Google. Please let someone else have had this problem before. No? No one? Not even in Lean Stack?”



“I will never write again.”



Talking to my dog two hours later: “Oh well. I guess there’s nothing I can do. I should have noticed that I was kicked out of my Word account and even then I should have copied and pasted onto another document just in case. Lesson learned.┬áLet’s be honest, I was going to write all day tomorrow anyway. Still…those pages were so good. I guess they’ll just have to live in the long lost summer of my memory.”




Nicolina Torres
Nicolina Torres

Nikki worked for Barnes & Noble for 15 years, in seven stores. She is the author of This Red Fire, Young Nation, and Girls Who Wear Glasses. She prefers to live in the country and is a new aunt to a potential bookworm.

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